Its been exactly 2 months today since everything changed. I miss my daddy like crazy, just wish the hurt would ease and I could figure out how to handle the changes. I know I didn't lose my husband or my child or any of that because I do understand those are more difficult, but I lost some one who has been there every single day of my life since day one, I lost the one man in my life who has NEVER let me down.
It's hard to explain but i guess one way to explain it is my daddy was half of my security blanket. If something happened, Logan's birth, surgeries, other problems, him and mama where there. ALWAYS. Now it's like the security is gone and all the insecurities are showing. Everyone keeps saying you are a strong woman, but you are only as strong as your foundation, and half of mine isn't here any more. I know he's in Heaven but I miss his voice, his advice, even him yelling at me because that is what got through my thick skull and I miss knowing if I really needed him I could just go see him or call him.
I'm just trying to figure this all out and I guess I'm not doing it like everyone feels I should, but I'm trying, I'm trying to figure out me, and honestly I'm having a hard time with that, and I need to figure out what I can do to be happy in my life because that is all my daddy ever wanted for me and I just want to do what would make him proud and honestly I don't think he'd be very happy with how I am right now=\
